Embrace your possibility.
Be true.Connect Within.Radiate out.
Embrace your possibility.
Be true.Connect Within.Radiate out.
My Early Self
I’ve always considered myself a very lucky girl, born and raised in a caring family in Taiwan that is full of love, warmth, support, and respect. I’ve had valuable cultural experience throughout my early teenage years and adulthood in the US and Japan. My parents are the most humble people I’ve met, and a common statement from them is “we only ask that she does her best” to describe their expectation towards their daughter.
With such a gifted background, I could still manage to dwell upon the gloomy side. Being the eldest of three in a traditional Asian family, I can only speak from my own personal experience; I simply felt the need to study my ass off to get good grades, so I could make my parents proud while trying to be a reasonable role model for my sisters who were rather careless about it. I was a highly sensitive child who took every comment seriously and personally to heart. Well, that was the official kick-off of my “Perfectionist + People-Pleasing Syndrome.”
From getting good grades in school, busy obtaining all sorts of certificates, to working laboriously in different corporate settings, my self-worth was stacked up by the “external appraisals” kindly offered by others. Chasing after various positions and financial rewards was the only way I valued myself throughout my corporate years. Ironically, the harder I worked to prove my worth to others, the Perfectionist + People-Pleasing Syndrome just got worse. Deep down inside, I was preoccupied with harsh inner voices. “I’m not good enough,” “I couldn’t believe that I just did that,” “I should’ve done better,” “I never am going to amount to anything if I don’t achieve the next thing,” and it could go on and on… Eventually, the need to always control outcomes to seek approval from outside got so intense that I couldn’t stop beating myself up. In a nutshell, I ended up feeling both emotionally drained and mentally exhausted.
Towards the end of 2012, I could no longer hide these gremlins (aka inner critics), and everything started to manifest physically. Sure, my menstrual cycle was messed up big time, crazy irregular heartbeat and endless migraine was bugging me, but I thought all these symptoms were just caused by my frequent overseas business trips. I chose to distract myself by immersing in a greater amount of workload and expected somehow the body would just adjust back on its intelligence.
One morning, I had a total freak out because my ears shut down on me when I woke up. Within 3 days, besides losing 90% of the hearing, I kept getting nauseous and losing balance in the office. After checking up with several doctors, without any immediate medical cure, the only prescription I got was — You must REST! That’s all?! That’s what I got from being so damn responsible and working so hard for years?! Can someone teach me how to be a good loser? I was numb to the surrounding while letting rage and resentment brewing inside of me.
how losing our sh*t helps us find ourselves
A mixed feeling of total frustration and awkwardness to lip-read others propelled me even to look up for a sign language institute so to prepare myself for the worst scenario. Quitting the job as a dysfunctional employee was the only option at the moment. In early 2013, I decided to go to Lyon, France to recuperate my entire wellbeing (including my inner shame: “achieving failure”). During months of dead silence, I went from being highly irritable to gradually accept the situation and allowed myself to reflect back on the past events that I had never bothered to review for the second time. It took me some serious guts to look inward and to start a real heart-to-heart conversation with myself for the first time. Slowly, I realized that silence didn’t seem so scary, but instead, it provided a valuable space for me to contemplate through a series of questions about life:
What’s my purpose on this earth? What do I value? How would I see myself if it’s the last day of my life? Who exactly am I without a title printed on the name card? Can I survive and serve people at the same time?
I started to hear little whisper inside that something’s missing…or more is possible… or it’s time for a change…
Looking back, this near deaf experience was such a divine gift in disguise, and I learn about what it truly means by having self-compassion. Many years I have listened to my head and neglected what my heart truly wanted. But the funny thing is, the moment I acknowledge my heart’s purpose, it’s as if I found the key to the secret garden.
How I started
Sometimes we need everything to fall apart to recompose itself.
We have to make room for the new by ridding ourselves of the old.
Everything we perceive in the external world is merely a projection of our ego. I held on to it (being a perfectionist) so tightly as my identification and blamed others for the unwanted outcomes. I realized that my grudge was inside of my head not outside, which twisted everything I saw, and knowing that letting go of the resentment is a must before I could see the real world.
Choosing to become a “Self-Love Coach” is only a job title that the society framework defines me. Being authentic to who I am here on this earth is a confronting process that it can be daring and challenging. Truthfully, it scares the hell out of me sometimes but I do it anyway. Rather than focusing on my ego-driven game, I choose to be guided through the experiences that I’ve had and to serve genuinely with greater compassion and to help more beautiful women out there to go through their own metamorphosis.
If you have read this far about my journey, you are probably able to connect with who I was and maybe you resonate with your own experience also.
Life has so much to offer but we seriously don’t have a lot of time. I believe that we are all here for a reason, for a greater good. One of the most beautiful and exciting thing that you don’t want to miss out this lifetime is to really know & love Who You Are.
Remember: You are born worthy and there is nothing you can do to become more worthy or deserving, except to realize that you are!
If you like to explore this more, connect with me!
“Follow Your Bliss and the Universe will Open Doors where there were only Walls.”
Follow your Bliss, beautiful souls. You are born worthy, and there is nothing you can do to become more worthy or deserving, except to realize that you are!
Follow your Bliss, beautiful souls. You are born worthy and there is nothing you can do to become more worthy or deserving, except to realize that you are!
A woman has the power to nourish and supports her family, friends, and community. Being a caregiver by nature, they have to learn how to replenish their cups before depleting from giving endlessly.
- Cultural shock every ten years (Taiwan → U.S → Japan → Taiwan → France -→Taiwan →….?)
- Sketching is another form of my meditation and self-expression. It represents my mood of that particular moment. I have to finish each piece within 24hrs before the inspiration slips through my fingers!
- I love learning languages because they are beautiful tools for enjoying awesome conversation with people, but:
- I am not fond of grammar, though, so please excuse any grammatical error on this website. Lol.
- I need to pick up my rusty French from the basic again!
- I’m a big kid at heart, an Ah-ha machine. Easily inspired by synchronicities and any interesting conversation!
- I LOVE NATURE! Monthly ritual: Hugging & Talking to my favourite tree friends (yes, don’t worry, I am not mad). ☺
- Big fan of Wayne Dyer, Marie Forleo, Super Soul Sunday, Ellen Degeneres (Yippee!! Jan. 26th, we got the same birthday!)
- Favourite quotes:
- “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
- “Life is a mystery that unfolds its story to each of us in a different way at the right time” – Hermann J Steinherr
- Top 3 values: Authenticity, Gratitude, Compassion
- I’m obsessed with creating a healthy mindset and help people to do the same!
- I am allergic to alcohol, but I’m a sucker for Umeshu (Japanese plum wine). I’d still risk for getting hives. lol.
- I am a deep diver, the onion peeler of my life. I’m willing to peel away layer after layer and to allow each lesson to unfold as the process brings me closer to the core.
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