When I first arrived to Japan in my ealy 20’s, I was so much in awe of the absolute dedication with innovation, aesthetics & tidiness.

• Taxi doors open themselves automatically (and the drivers nicely suited up with kind greeting tonality).
• High-tech design with derriere-washing, warming toilet seats with “special singing sound” in their public restrooms
• Goods are always beautifully packaged. Everything is presented aesthetically above and beyond functional.  Consistent improvement is almost an art form in Japanese culture. Consumers are willing to push for and pay for those improvements in general, which drives further innovation.
• And, for a Japanese person to admit they had a hobby or interest actually meant they were “Pretty Good” at it. It’s a cultural thing (personal observation, lol).

Of course, I can come up with a dozen things more about how much I was impressed by the country.

Be the best that you can be to earn your place in the world.  Japan is a more homogenous society regarding a somewhat unified standard of acceptability.  However, sometimes the Japanese standard of acceptability seems like perfectionism to many other countries (including Taiwan).

Recalling the years working in Tokyo, I had held a strong sense of belief about how working impeccably and diligently was the only way to earn absolute credibility and high respect.  Imagine that the Japanese have achieved great recognition in this regard, which makes perfect sense that perfection was a desirable quality to have.  What’s wrong with being a perfectionist?  I wanted to become one and I’d even use “perfectionism” as one of the elegant weaknesses as “too responsible” in my past corporate interviews, lol.

So having said with my previous mentality of admiration towards perfectionism, here’re three major reasons why am I going against my grain to drop the idea of being one.

1. Procrastination

“I am a perfectionist, and all I care is about excellence because that’s just very critical to me.  That’s why I can’t get it done.”  Is that true?  It’s a beautiful little lie in vain, which I used to do it quite often.

If you’re not honest enough with yourself about the real lesson behind this perfectionist-wannabe symptom, it’s going to rob your energy, time & more importantly, the joy to grow.

At some point, we need to be mature and have the guts to admit the truth that sometimes we were just unsure, feel distracted, scared, or just being a lazy ass, that’s why we continue to push things back & delay on “that important thing” we promised ourselves to do.  But, nothing is perfect anyway until we complete it.

2. The fear of the unknown is always there

Yup, this sounds like bad news.  How to crush the fears?  As many gurus try so hard to provide ultimate solutions to combat the dark shadow, I realize that the fear of rejection or failure is never going to go away.  But, if we chose to sit back there and wait until everything is so certain, feeling super strong and confident before we can move forward, we won’t be able to do what we are supposed to do.

The fact is that everyone is scared.  However, even with the failures on our mind, by choosing to proceed anyway, it will create us the momentum to break through the bottleneck of feeling stuck.  Having a healthy relationship with making mistakes is vital.  I talked about why dancing with mistakes is the best remedy for making progress in my other blog post (6 Ways to Silence Your Inner Critics).

3. Unnecessary anxiety & stress

What if it isn’t good enough?  I’m a recovering perfectionist, and I used to get mad & judge myself for making a mistake.  Trying to be flawless and impeccable at everything did not help me to feel better about myself, but rather it brought me loads of anxiety and stress.  For any perfectionist, making a mistake is like committing a terrible crime.

Now I learn to embrace my mistakes because these valuable errors and faults have only shown me different ways of how to not do something.  Looking at mistakes as stepping stones that are supporting us to become healthier when dealing with our inner fears.

 4. Lose grip on what really matters

What you persist, resist.  It shouldn’t have happened this way…  It could’ve been better only if… It would’ve been so much more if…

If you want to claim back your power, stop using the words “could’ve, would’ve, should’ve and if.”  Stop trying to control the past with overthinking unless you love the taste of regret.  When holding on to the resistance of everything gotta be made in a “certain way,” I know for sure that I’m not moving forward, but losing the clarity to see the bigger picture of what does matter in life.

5. Miss out on the fun and joy

“I demand you to take me SERIOUSLY or else…” (can you feel the tension? lol.)  Being serious about almost everything had always been the attitude to show my professional image (yes, I mean “perfectly uptight”).  But the sad thing about this is that I forgot to appreciate the beauty in life.

It took me years to learn the hard lesson.  But I’ve come to realize this truth.

The moment we let go, relax and have a sense of humor, we become happier, healthier, and we cultivate more mental and emotional strength.   Life isn’t rosy all the time, but learning how to laugh at ourselves from time to time is such an art to master, and it’s well worth it in the long run!

It’s good to adopt the positive attitude of “doing your best,” but let’s ease up on our perfectionism because we deserve to enjoy the journey while pursuing our life purpose & dreams.

Sending you much love,

xoxo, Jen