Ever felt this way? One day, you’re in the mood to go all out, sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings, pouring your heart out. But on another day, perhaps you just want to keep things close to your chest, not inclined to share much at all. Does this fluctuation in expression make you question your authenticity?
๐ถ
I had a fascinating conversation with my dear friend the other day about how to stay authentic when expressing ourselves without the need to overshare or undershare.
After all, we are part of a social tribe, and there’s a level of vulnerability when it comes to being seen as who we really are. There’s an inherent sense of unworthiness in being seen with our totality because, unconsciously, we believe that there’s something fundamentally wrong with us, making showing up as who we are feel like a raw, dangerous act – an irrational ancestral narrative.
Transparency is indeed important, but there’s a fine line between transparency and respecting one’s privacy. The level of vulnerability varies from person to person and also with each individual’s seasonality.
There are times when we have full confidence to summon our courage and share something deep with others because we choose to trust in the moment. Other times, we may not feel as self-assured, and we might experience a stronger dose of vulnerability hangover or even wonder why we had to share so vulnerably. ๐ฅธ
One thing for sure is our logical mind will try its best, in all means, to strategize its perfect invincible plan to protect our ego from getting triggered or potentially hurt (via feeling shamed, embarrassed, or experiencing a sense of low self-worth), even if our hearts know that going towards the opposite direction will bring deep healing and allow PEACE to emerge.
It’s natural to resist your heart’s calling to show emotional vulnerability since being seen or perceived as a total fool or an irrational creature is something our egos want to prevent us from doing or being taken advantage of.
What does leaning into Peace feel like to you? ๐คโฎ๏ธ
I’ve learned that the depth of vulnerability requires building upon how much trust we have within ourselves. ๐๐น
When communicating something intense with others, you can choose to speak about your viewpoints or concerns while allowing yourself to feel vulnerable yet courageously non-judgmental at the same time. ๐น
It would be precious and greatly appreciated if people understood where you’re coming from. But if not, at least your self-trust is solid enough to still hold your ground.
If the extent of emotional vulnerability is too much for your current psyche to manage, it’s okay to express your need for a pause without sacrificing your honesty. ๐ค
I’ve learned that oversharing won’t make you extra authentic, but the inability to show vulnerability will kill authenticity.
“๐๐ค๐๐๐ฎ, ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐จ๐๐๐ง๐ 100% ๐ค๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ค ๐ ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐ช๐จ๐ ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค๐ฉ๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ฎ ๐ค๐ ๐๐ค๐ฌ ๐โ๐ข ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐๐๐๐ซ๐๐.”
“๐๐ค๐๐๐ฎ, ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฉ ๐จ๐๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ 75% ๐ค๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ค ๐ ๐๐ข ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐จ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ค๐ช๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐จ๐๐๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ค๐ง๐ ๐ค๐ ๐ข๐ฎ๐จ๐๐ก๐.”
“๐๐ค๐๐๐ฎ, ๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐จ๐ช๐ฅ๐๐ง ๐ซ๐ช๐ก๐ฃ๐๐ง๐๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ค๐ซ๐๐ง๐ก๐ฎ ๐๐ญ๐ฅ๐ค๐จ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฃ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐๐ค๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐จ๐๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐ง 1% ๐ค๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ค ๐ ๐๐ขโฆ”
“๐๐ค๐๐๐ฎ, ๐ ๐๐ค๐ฃ’๐ฉ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐ค๐ข๐๐ค๐ง๐ฉ๐๐๐ก๐ ๐จ๐๐ค๐ฌ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ช๐ฅ ๐๐จ ๐ข๐ค๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ 40% ๐ค๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ค ๐ ๐๐ข. ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฌ๐ก๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐๐ฃ๐จ๐๐๐ช๐ง๐๐ฉ๐ฎ, ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐โ๐ข ๐จ๐ก๐ค๐ฌ๐ก๐ฎ ๐๐ก๐ก๐ค๐ฌ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ข๐ฎ๐จ๐๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐๐๐ก ๐จ๐๐๐๐ง ๐๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐ค๐ง๐ก๐, ๐ค๐ฃ๐ ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ฅ ๐๐ฉ ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ข๐.”
None of the above is wrong. Each scenario is authentic in its own terms because they are honest about how they truly feel in the moment and the level of transparency they are comfortable in sharing. โค๏ธ
Authenticity is an intricate dance with ourselves in the moment, and what feels like Peace may be subject to change. But if we want to show up more authentically in life, we need to also practice inviting self-compassion into the picture as often as possible. ๐๐ชท๐ชท๐ชท
There’s no absolute equation for this, but I find Peace returning to my heart the moment I respect another person’s receptivity while letting my standpoint be witnessed or heard. This is when emotional sensitivity comes in handy as a highly sensitive empath.
If your intuition says “no,” honor your sacred feelings instead of worrying about being judged for being too hard to handle. Listen to your inner needs.
Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all peace recipe that applies to every single person on the planet. ๐ What makes you feel peaceful might be different from mine. ๐น๐ ๐ But I find intuition speaks the clearest when our body softens, our mind relaxes, and our breath deepens.
Don’t fight against your peace. Continue to explore authenticity by feeling into your own ๐ท-๐ฌ๐จ๐ช๐ฌ: ๐ท๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐จ๐บ๐ฌ as your inner compass. ๐ฅฐ๐๐ฆ
โLeaning into your Point of Ease with compassion sets you free.๐ชทโ โ Jen Yang
xoxo,
Jen
